Why We Can’t Be Friends

I was talking to a woman today about exes. She asked me why an ex and I couldn’t be friends. My simple response: He doesn’t know how to let go and just be friends. She then asked the mysterious question that has been lurking for years: Can you be friends with an ex? She followed up with: I most definitely can be friends with an ex. But what I can’t do is see them with someone else…

Wait, what? Pause there for a second… You mean to tell me that you can remain friends with someone that you’ve shared feelings, moments, memories and have been intimate with? But you would be hurt if they were doing all of those things with someone else?

Well that to me seems like its a “if I can’t have them, then no one will” moment. I’mont sure if I would go that far to say that. But it does tells me that you can’t truly be over someone if you can’t see them with another person. Which ultimately tells me that you can’t be friends with an ex if you still have feelings for them. Then I thought a step further. Wouldn’t you be mad if you invested yourself and your time with someone, then someone comes along behind you and reaps all the benefits from that person? That would honestly grind my gears.

But what is a true definition of a friend? Are we considering them as a friend in which we can call to talk? Or are we defining being friends with an ex as just being cordial? I personally think people sometimes intertwine the meaning of “friends” as cordial. I can’t imagine why you would want to call up your ex and start chatting it up unless there is some unfinished business. Or quite possibly, you still want there to be something there.

So my final answer to this age old question: No, you can’t be friends. For some reason, we were not meant to be together in a romantic relationship. So I don’t think we could be friends.  I do however, believe that we could be cordial. If I see you out in public, I will speak. Depending on my mood, if you post something on social media, I may post a comment. If someone asks me what happened, I wouldn’t bash your character. We can be cordial. But we can’t be friends. 

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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