Giving Up Because Priorities Change

We all know that priorities change based on where you are in life. On Saturday, my husband and I had a conversation with someone about this very topic. The person in the conversation had the grand question of when we would have children. Then this morning, the same topic was on the radio. The wife was divorcing the husband because he now wanted children and she did not. She gave up fighting for what she wanted.

Shouldn’t something like this be a conversation before you decide to get married? I’m sure the important question, “Do you want children?” was asked in the very beginning. Or if you want children, “How many kids do you want?” They both said no children. But for some reason that answer changed for the husband in this situation.

In my situation, my husband already had two children before me. He was leery of having more. He was concerned of the cost of raising a child. I, on the other hand, came with no children. I wanted at least two. After discussing and weighing our pros and cons, WE made the decision that we’re going for at least one. Surprisingly, my husband came back and said he wanted to try for two.

But this conversation happened in the beginning. Both of us were open to each other’s thoughts and concerns and was able to compromise. This was our decision.

Now the question at hand is when we plan to try. I know what you are thinking. “You’re married. You can start anytime. What’s the hold up?” Yeah, I know.

My husband is all about starting immediately. Can you believe it? This came after him not wanting anymore at all. So now all of a sudden he wants to start as soon as possible. I’ll keep his reasoning to us and just say his priorities have changed. But I’m adamant in saying not right now. Before you turn your head side ways and agree with him, hear me out.

Yes, we are already married. We eloped but we are still having a public ceremony in March 2018. I’ve already purchased a dress and have all the plans in the works. So just like everyone else, I would love to enjoy my own wedding. I would also like to enjoy our first year of marriage with just the two of us. But the biggest concern was for him to wait six months to a year. Who wants to be pregnant and close to labor at a wedding? I just don’t see that enjoyable.

For the past few months, I have been convincing my husband to follow suit. At the same time, he has been busy trying to convince me that right now is the time. We often joke about our different views. But it keeps us on our toes in being open to each other’s wants and needs.

In a relationship, your perspective changes. Your goals change. Each other’s needs and wants change. Which then leads to your priorities changing.  But that doesn’t mean give up because of difference of opinion.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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