One of the joys of being single is that you get to do what you want and buy what you want, when you want. I don’t have to consult with anyone on any decisions, unless I need assistance making up my mind. The downfall is you have all these people who try to map out your life by what should be.
This past weekend was my birthday so I decided to make a few purchases. After one of my Facebook friends saw one of the gifts that I bought for myself, he mentioned that it’s a shame that I have to buy my own gifts. “You deserve someone who will buy you things for your birthday.”
I don’t see anything wrong with buying myself gifts. If I don’t spoil myself then no one else will. But I started to wonder why it even mattered so I asked. His response: I always see you doing everything by yourself. I think you show too much independence and maybe you probably don’t even know how to act if someone bought you something.
My face turned up in confusion. How can I show too much independence by buying myself gifts? Of course he had a response for this. Hey jokingly said, “I just think when women are independent for too long, it’s almost like second nature to take the lead and then they don’t know how to NOT be so independent. You should step back and allow a man to take care of you sometimes. I know you are single and maybe you aren’t even looking for someone. But I think we should at least find someone for you that can take on some of that independence from you.”
Keep in mind that he’s married so he’s completely out of touch with how dating goes. He probably meant well in his comments. But I’m not quite sure if I appreciate his view on my single life and why it deemed important enough to discuss. Everyone has an opinion about something though.
But, I do know for sure that I don’t agree with him suggesting that I need an independent contractor. What’s that? An independent contractor is someone who isn’t quite willing to be committed but I can call when I need/want something (a bill paid, lunch money, a new bag, etc).
It’s already difficult enough to meet someone who is worth my time. Meeting someone who has potential to be an independent contractor is even more difficult. I’m ok with buying my own gifts until someone is ready and willing to do it for me permanently. I’m not really seeking an independent contractor. I’m looking for a permanent partnership. I would rather have someone that can offer me something like time rather than money.
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?