The Value of A Moment/Memories

You ever have that one person or situation you think about but it’s almost all bad memories? It makes you wish to never think about it or them. How can something fill your memory bank with all bad memories? It’s because we didn’t take the time to think of the good memories. We should invest in creating great moments. But life can bring us some icky lemons. It can defintely happen. It’s happened to me before.

When I first meet someone, my intention is to take time and get to know them. The same for when I enter into certain situations. It’s during this time frame that I determine if I want to develop a deeper relationship. This goes for romantic relationships as well as friendships. If you show me that you are worthy of my time, then I will continue to get to know you. The same goes for me. I can only expect that people treat me the same way.

The problem comes when you get to know someone and discover it was a total waste of time. I can only hope that I can make good memories with anyone I come in contact with. Bad memories make me feel like valuable time was wasted. I remember the quote from Dr. Suess “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”. This goes for all moments in our lives and is so true. But I wanted to hit on those moments with other people.

I do not want to be loaded with a bunch of nonsense and bad memories of people. I would hate to be that person who left bad memories with people. My foot print should be memorable, alive and have sunshine. Leaving trails of mud is not my kind of walk.

But in life we all have some bad memories that we’ve gone through. There are plenty of dating stories I could share. Or those individuals who I thought were friends turned out not to be so friendly. What about those customer service encounter that turned out to be the service from hell?

All I’m saying is that I don’t want to remember the bad about people and situations. I want to remember the reason I wanted to get to know you. Not the reason, I dread seeing you out in public.

The point here is to leave people with good memories of you. Don’t waste people’s time and expect for people to say good things about you. What kind of memories are you leaving people with? I want to create remarkable memories instead of horrible nightmares.

We must realize the value of moments and memories. We have to try and make every moment a good memory… I’m busy trying to leave golden footprints.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?


Choose Your Words Wisely

Someone texted me some awesome news yesterday. I told them I was happy for them. But I also included that I hadn’t really talked to them in a few weeks. They texted me back and asked why I kept saying that. I really didn’t mean it in a bad way. I was really saying that I hadn’t done my part in being a friend lately.

Before I went to bed, I had to analyze how the conversation went wrong. (This is part of me being emotional. See my last post). In deep thought, I realized I probably shouldn’t have input that part when they were sharing good news. That’s one of those awkward moments when you think you’re inputting a piece of the conversation that really could have been eliminated. Very awkward moment. It was such a happy moment that turned sour quickly.

But the point is I texted it. Although I didn’t mean any harm, the person on the other end could have been offended or hurt. Being mindful of what we say, how we say it and when we say it is part of great communication. We have to be careful of what we say and when we say it. Too many times we blurt out the first thing on our minds. What we think may be the right thing to say at that moment,  may not be the best for that situation. This was supposed to be joyful moment. But due to my bad communication, it only lasted a few moments.

By the way because this was a text message, it kind of made things even worse. Communicaiton via text allows us choose and control when we respond. But we can’t control the under tone in a text. A simple yes or no text can turn into another issue. We can’t hear tone via text so we are pressured to read the text message and take it for what it is.

Whether we are communicating through voice or print, we must be careful with our words. Conversation can go sour quickly simply based on what we say, the timing and the method of communication.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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Does Turning 30 Make You More Emotional?

I swear I feel like that moment I turned 30, any and everything makes me wonder. There’s a feeling of sensitivity to any and everyone. I know I’m supposed to feel more free, wiser and thoughtful. But my gracious, I feel like I’m over analyzing everything. It was so easy just to say yes or no. Now, every decision is a long drawn out process and I find myself growing discomfort at decisions I would have easily made in my twenties.

I had to laugh at that last sentence. I made a lot of dumb decisions in my twenties. But I regret nothing. But what I do miss is that carefree spirit. I wasn’t so emotional about things being together or things being right. I was more concerned with just getting it done.

What happened to that attitude? Did it just easily slip away as I slept on my 30th birthday?  Perhaps I’m just going through a transition stage from twenties to thirties. Maybe this transition stage us allowing me finally gush our those last minute twenties thoughts to make room for more mature 30’s thoughts.

I just turned my nose up so that I wouldn’t slump into another emotional state. What was that about? A few weeks ago, I would have made that statement and perhaps just keep it moving. Everyone has said that the 30’s will be the best years. But so far, I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster that I hoped would end soon. Maybe because it’s only been a few weeks and I haven’t gotten use to being so senstive. So for now, I will continue on this journey of being more enlightened and selective on the decisions I make.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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I Told You So

You ever feel like people who know everything always have a hand in someone else’s problem? They feel entitled to tell everyone “I told you so”. But they haven’t quite grasped that they need to tell themselves.

“I told you so” is a phrase that I can’t bring myself to say. Not that I’ve never had any encounters where I didn’t want to say it. But my issue is, we have to allow people to learn some things on their own. We have to be consumed with what we have going on in our own lives before we start telling him and her what they have going on.

This all came from this conversation I had this morning. It bothered me to no end. The person was telling me a story and said they couldn’t understand why a person did what they did and they put themselves in a bind….. blah, blah, blah. But after analyzing the situation, I realized their situation was not quite perfect for them to judge the other person. NONE of our situations are perfect to judge others and what they have going on. 

We sometimes judge people and their situation because we haven’t found ourselves in that position. We can’t say what we will or will not do until we find ourselves in those shoes. I wanted to tell that person to water their own grass before they try to plant a seed in their neighbor’s yard. But I didn’t want to waste time in trying to convince “Know It All Betty”. I’ve learned that you can’t argue with people who think they know everything and know what the best solution is.

Another thing I’ve learned is giving advice should be limited. Don’t just give advice on any and everything. Furthermore, don’t just say it. But give the reason why. People are more open to taking advice when they know why. Give the most concrete background to support your reasoning.

But my main point is to let people live. We all have a different path in life. But you can’t walk your own path if you’re too busy trying to step foot on everyone else’s path. You’ll ruin your shoes quicker that way. We do not know it all and there is a slight chance that our opinions are not always a solution.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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Those Who Care Matter

I wanted to write something positive today. I’ve been in a funk about certain things and situations in life. But what I go through does not compare to the signs of times. While our country is falling apart, celebrities are killing themselves and we are at war with each other and other countries. Tragedy is all around us.

But allow me share something uplifting. Today, I ran across something that allowed me to shine a positive light and hopefully help someone as it’s helped me today. The quote read “Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life, touch your heart and nourish your soul.” This sentence was packed with a bunch of awesomeness.

Let me address the first part “Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life.” Just recently, I turned 30. I went through a small period where I had to evaluate where I was. The people around me, my job, my finances and all these life decisions I was making were all impacted in the evaluation. But most of my questions have been who do I have in my circle? Who do I have rooting for me? Who supports me? Who and what do I support?

I realized that I was busy trying to make a name for myself and trying to gain more supporters. I was missing something while being upset about those who could care less. Often I found myself trying to gain the interest of those who aren’t interested. It can be frustrating getting people to believe in you and your product. But I overlooked those who supported me, who prayed over me and my journey and those who encouraged me. Although it would be great to have everyone in my corner, I’m ever so grateful to those who are already on board. But I can’t waste my time on those who just aren’t interested.

The same goes for you. If someone shows you that they don’t care, don’t believe in the same thing or simply don’t make time, then take it for what it is. We waste too much time worrying about who isn’t. The focus should be on who is. Embrace those who are in your court. Those individuals will bring more value than the ones who do not support your cause, goals and or visions.

Now to address the second part “touch your heart and nourish your soul.” I’m guilty of allowing people chances who really don’t deserve chances. There were people who tried to drag me down with negativity and those who talk a lot but don’t do a lot. These people are toxic. I’m currently in the process of doing away with toxic people.

One rule of thumb is that if it’s not a positive thought, positive solution or positive goal, I am not with it. I am choosing not to engage with people or in actions that to do not reflect positivity. I was drained with people having no type of solution to their problem and only want to engage in a complaint session. If all you want to do is talk with no intention of doing then move out of the way.

Touch someone’s heart with kind words. Be an example to someone who may not know which way to go. Feed positive actions and speak life into something or someone you believe in.

Stop worrying about those who do not matter. Work on associating with those of a like mind. Do not waste any more time on those who are busy tearing down instead of building up. Those who care matter and those who matter care.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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