Consistently Inconsistent

I thought I’d share my view on this true life story. There’s a lesson in everything we do.

So let me tell you about this man. He once complained about his girlfriend being inconsistent with her love for him. When telling his version of events, he told everyone that all he wanted was for her to be consistent. “Consistent with what?” We all asked. “She falls in and out of love with me. Its never constant.” He said she asked for too much time and a relationship shouldn’t be based on spending time. His version of love was staying with someone just because you love them, care for them and support them.

I support a lot of people but does that mean I should be in a relationship with all of them? I asked myself as he talked.

This prompted me to do a little investigation. What would make her “inconsistent” as he called it? What I found was the information he’d left out. What he didn’t tell others was that he decided he would love her, talk to her, be her friend and also love her when it was convenient for him. Days would go by with them not speaking or seeing each other. She professed her need to use just a little of his time.

But it didn’t bother him that she wanted was his time. He thought buying gifts would fill that void she had. That wasn’t the problem. She could buy her own things. On occasion he told her he would change. He asked for a little time to get himself together and he would be able to spend as much time as she needed. She labelled him as a repeat offender. Too many times he said things would change and 7 years later they were still in the same position.

Overlooking that small detail caused him to lose her. He blamed her and had a strong hate for her. There came a time when he even tried to win her back. But she became tired of his audio not matching is video and knew things hadn’t changed. There weren’t anymore chances for her to give. She even confessed that she felt stupid that she let it go on for so long. “Putting all your hope in the wrong people is a waste of time. I wasted my time on someone who didn’t even bother to see my hurt. Seven years and he still didn’t even really know me. All because he failed to spend time with me. Total waste.” She said.

The lesson I learned from the both of them: 1.Don’t date someone who doesn’t have time to spare. If they really wanted to spend time with you they would make time.
2. Don’t be a fool in thinking people will change just because they say it. I know it’s cliche but actions really do speak louder than words.

So when someone shows you that they are inconsistent with what they say and do, believe their actions. Don’t hold on to hope for a hopeless. 

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?


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