Early morning conversations:
“I feel so dumb and lost. He apologized and said things would be different. I trusted what he said and here I am feeling stupid for believing things will be different.”… My response: Can you trust the situation that this was a lesson learned? He showed you who he was before you even started dating.
Here’s the real issue with this thing called trust. I know this is so cliche. But actions truly speak louder than words. People can’t just go around saying what they will and will not do. It’s a must that they SHOW you… It’s up to you if you want to trust that person again. In my opinion you don’t have to. Once you forgive them you either move on or use it as a lesson.
So someone hurt you. You did what was right and you forgave them. But oh why did they come back and do the same thing they did before? Now you feel humiliated that you forgave them, gave them a second chance and you thought you were doing the right things. What a bummer. It probably feels as if someone slashed a peice of glass across your chest. There’s probably pain along with ache and a feeling of weakness. But it doesn’t have to be.
Remember way back when I encouraged to turn your problems into opportunities? Well this is one of those moments. This is a perfect opportunity to learn about yourself. Here is where you become wiser that the person don’t want to change. You can’t make people change. I too had to learn that people will treat you any ol kind of way until you show them how you should be treated. If they don’t want to be your companion, friend, associate, whatever type of relationship, you can’t make them. The only thing you can do is shine your light and if they are blind to your light then that’s their issue not yours. If someone is blind, it’s not your handicap. It’s theirs. You can’t change people…. In her case, she thought she could change him when they started dating. She believed the wrong thing and now blames it on trust.
So we as humans don’t really have trust issues. Our issue is that we put all of our energy, thoughts, money and time into things and people that have continually showed us that they lack worthiness. It’s not necessarily trust where we go wrong. It’s believing that all of the wrong things for us are all right.
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?