I was in deep conversation with an associate when I thought about this question. She said she didn’t think the guy she was dating really loved her but she was unsure. He never said that he didn’t and he never expressed that he did. The interesting factor was she then added “I’m sure he loves me. He just has a hard time expressing it. I think his way of showing is by buying me things.”
Has love become materialistic? Are we in a place where love is expressed through money and not through actions and or words? It might be a mystery but its also a known fact that men and women think differently. His method of buying her things could very well mean that he loves her. I don’t really know him to know if that’s just him or not. But I also know that showing someone you love them shouldn’t be questionable.
I’m far from a relationship expert. Heck, I’m worlds away. But it’s my opinion that we shouldn’t have to ask if someone loves us. The doubt factor is not hard to prove wrong in relationships. You can’t love someone a little. You either love them or you don’t. I’m not fond of the phrase “It’s complicated.” What’s so complicated about it? You either love me or you don’t. If you do, then show me by saying so and then back it up with actions. Words can only take you so far before you are questioned to prove if what you say is true.
My solution to the question is if they truly make you happy. If you are happy with your situation then by all means stay there. But are you in a place where you dislike everything they do and say. Does the mere thought of them make you angry? Do you go days or weeks without speaking? Or do you understand each other? Do you talk? Do you spend time together? Do you work together in making decisions? All of these factors go into if you love someone.
I would also go a little further and say this is a conversation they should be having. If you are dating, then question the future. Are you dating me for a future or are you dating me for the now? She should also be questioning herself and if she makes him happy. What is she doing to make him happy? I guarantee that communication would make their relationship even stronger.
There are a lot more but the bottom line is if you have to question it then it probably just isn’t there.
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?