We all know that going through the break up stage and getting over someone is one of the most difficult trials to go through. I think it’s especially hard when you are the person who initiated the break up. All kinds of feelings like guilty, overwhelm, freedom, frustrated, etc all arise at the same time. In the end, I still have my doubts that I did the right thing. But things happen for a reason and what’s done is done.
I had that ugly feeling when I realized that it wasn’t going to work the way it should. I won’t get into the problems that we had. But what I will say is that there’s a thin line between giving someone chances and putting your life on hold so they can catch up to your level. Truth is, we should have been at the same level from the beginning. I expect respect, time and attention. We all have certain things going on in our lives but those three should be automatic along with trust. If you lack these things, you lack potential for that relationship that will work.
When I made the decision to break things off, I went into it with a positive light. Maybe we are meant to be together (just not at the moment). Sometimes we have to just let things go in order for them to come back to us. We and I repeat WE need to grow individually before we grow together. I need to work on my relationship with God first among other things. The same for him. I think once we have some time apart to really decide what we want, then we can mature together.
I felt compelled to get my feelings out instead of holding them in and pretending. I miss him. It is what it is. I blocked his number for two reasons. 1. So he couldn’t call me and 2. So I couldn’t call him. I did it for my own sake. I already knew I would either get that urge to call just hear his voice. Or I knew I would call when something happens just out of habit.
They say it’s 21 days to break a habit. I’m not near day 21 at all!
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?