I was told today that sometimes you don’t give up on people because you don’t care. You give up because they don’t care. Agreed. It’s depressing to know that you’ve given people chance after chance time after time because you had hope in them. You thought they would change and things would get better. But in the end, you realize that you care too much.
When someone doesn’t care enough to put in as much effort as you, why should you care? Why should you attribute all of your effort someone who is only giving partial or none at all. I hate to say it, but this was me at one time. I quickly drew tired and numb from everyone asking why? I definitely owed no one but me and him that answer. But in the end, I learned.
There was no doubt in my mind that he loved me. But the love wasn’t strong enough for my needs. I’m not the one who you can just issue the minimal amount of love and attention and I’ll be ok. It doesn’t work out that way for me.
He once told me that I’m either all in and if there is any doubt about us being together then I should leave. I should have left then. But because I was giving in, I was also giving my all. What a waste of time because he wasn’t giving his all. This entire time I could have given up and moved on.
Could this have been a fear of giving up? Possibly. But after evaluating the circumstances, we both were better off with me giving up. I gave in for too long.
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?