Where Have the “Gentlemen” Gone?

This piece is by my good friend Denise. I appreciate and thank her for the opportunity to guest blog. She’s mentioned some things that I’ve always wanted to say but I think she’s done a better job than I have getting it out…. Enjoy a great read!

 

Where Have the “Gentlemen” Gone?

How it used to be:

Boy and girl meet
Boy and girl like each other
Boy asks girl out (using words, not 140 characters or less)
Boy and girl go out on a date (not to boy’s or girl’s house to “chill”)
Boy opens doors and pulls out chairs
After a lovely evening, maybe a kiss or two
Boy and girl part ways

I realize that it is 2012 and some things have changed since “the good ‘ol days”. I consider myself pretty progressive, and in some ways liberal even, but when it comes to matters of the heart I’m definitely a good old fashion girl.

Why do men think they should no longer do these things? Why is a man looked at differently if he actually courts a lady? And most importantly, ladies, when did we start to accept it?

Woman always talk about how hard it is to find a man and/or keep a man and in our efforts to find happily ever after some of us succumb to thirsty behavior. Let me define Thirsty: Thirsty = DESPERATE. Wanting or needing. In our DESPERATION to find a man and to hold on to him, we are willing to allow men to treat us in any way they see fit. This results in a decline of real communication, the rise in communication only via text, no doors being opened, no chairs being pulled out, a date is a RedBox movie and carry out, and at the evening you are wrong for not giving up the goodies. WTH?

Statistics show us that women outnumber men, so all women are already at a disadvantage. Now for those who are true “ladies” who are looking for their Prince Charming, we now have to compete with not only other ladies, but also the thirsty women who will accept this juvenile behavior from men who have learned that they do not have to work to get the cookie. When men meet us ladies, they look at us like we are the crazy ones because we have the audacity to want a man to work to win us over. Why work to get a quality woman when a thirsty one requires little to no work at all? In a nutshell, gentlemen disappeared with the appearance of THIRST!

I for one am unwilling to lower my standards just because someone else will not raise theirs. I expect, and more importantly, DESERVE a gentleman. Please open my doors, pull out the chair, CALL – do not text. Yes sir, that means you will have to put in work if you want to have the privilege of my time and maybe eventually my body. The expression “nice guys finish last” has been around for who knows how long, but a good guy will always be first in my book because as another saying goes, “I can do bad by myself”!

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