Be Positive

You ever had a relationship when the other person complains about everything you do? All day you hear questions “Why did you do that?” Why did you do it like that” Why did you think that”… Blah, blah, blah.

If you are in a relationship with someone and all you do is complain about what they do and how they do it, why be with them? A relationship is supposed to bring positivity. Each person is supposed to bring some type of positivity to the table. It the table is full of negative plates, the relationshrip will go no where.

My suggestion is if you have a problem with the person you are with there are three things you should do. 1. Tell them what you think is wrong along with a solution. If all you do is complain and bring out all the faults with no solution to fix it, you are doing nothing but nagging and irritating the other person. 2. Leave them. If you can’t find anything good about the person why be with them. If all you can find are negative things to say and nothing positive, just leave them alone. That person is not for you. Or lastly, 3. Shut up. My mom always taught me if you can’t find anything nice or positive to say then don’t say anything.

I just have a problem with someone telling another person what they don’t like. Instead try to find the good things. If there aren’t any then why are you with them? Are you with them because you are afraid to be alone. Do you hold on because you want to hold them back from being happy? Why hold someone back from their full potential of being happy.

Negative thoughts bring a negative attitude. Be positive.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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Just when I Was Feeling Some Kinda Way

Just when I was feeling some kinda way, I had three people touch my heart in three different ways. I heard a co-worker explain how she didn’t have any money and thank God we get paid tomorrow. She said she had barely enough to get through to tomorrow. I looked in my bank account and was grateful that I’m able to have a little change in my purse. My bills are paid, I’m not starving and I woke up in my own bed. All I can say is thank you Lord. He’s done so much for me and I can’t and shouldn’t complain. Being in a bad mood should not be an option.

Have you ever just been in a icky mood and can’t figure out why? My friend texted to check on me. It’s weird, I can always tell when she’s in a funk. I guess she can tell when I am too. I guess that’s why we’re friends. Even though I told her I was in a blah mood just the fact of her checking on me made me feel a little better.

Then less than 5 minutes later, I was touched again. I was innocently skimming through my  instagram timeline and someone posted 7 Lovely Logics. How awesome:
1. Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present.
2. What others think of you is none of your business.
3. Time heals almost everything. Give time some time.
4. No one is the reason of your happiness except you yourself.
5. Don’t compare your life with others. You have no idea what their journey is about.
6. Stop thinking too much. It’s alright not to know all the answers.
7. Smile, you don’t own all the problems in the world.

Now isn’t that awesome encouragement to get out of my funk that I wasn’t authorized to have in the first place?

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

In Single Until I’m Married

I always find myself in the darndest debates. A recent debate is the definition of being single. I could see both sides if the argument.

One side said: you are single until you marry. Their reasoning was short and simple. On their tax return, they file single. Until they make that commitment for forever, they are free to live for themselves. It’s not until they decide to have that eternal partner when they are no longer single.

On the other hand, the rebuttal: If you are in a committed relationship you are no longer single. This is where you learn how to live with another person, you learn to love and you learn to grow with another person. If you don’t learn this before you marry, you’ll have all kinds of problems in your marriage.

My view is a mix of both. Yes, I’m single and I’m not married. I don’t have any children so I am free to move around freely. I go anywhere I choose with no questions to answer to anyone. I eat, purchase and make any decions for myself. I answer to no one.

However, I am in a committed relationship. This means I don’t just date multiple people. When I make plans, I make sure I include him and I also value his opinion. The number one rule is I don’t go around sleeping with multiple people. There would be a problem if I even thought that I wanted to be unfaithful or not committed. I would know in my heart that I wanted to be single with no strings attached.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Confessions Of An Addict Pt. 2

I’m pretty honest with myself and others…. It’s also not a secret that I know I need to lose weight. But I have a confession. I’m scared as heck to join a gym.

I don’t have a problem with walking outside by myself or with a group of people. If it wasn’t burn the hell up degrees out, I would walk and do my workouts outside.

My problem is being in a gym with a bunch of already thin and fit people. I have a fear of them staring and talking about me trying to work out.

The worst fear is that they’ll laugh if I’m not doing something right. Along with that, comes a fear of all of my blubber flying everywhere.

Told my friend I was going to join Weight Watchers. She said why don’t you just eat right and join a gym….. It’s so much easier said than done! I hadn’t explained my fear of the gym. No mention that I’m super conscious about my weight.

The boyfriend doesn’t complain. In fact he says he likes me just the way I am (or so he says). I know in the back of his head, he knows I could stand to lose more than a few pounds.

So as I struggle with this fear of the gym, I have a million questions running through my head. What’s the best gym. Who gives me the best for my money? When’s the best time to go? What kind of workout? The list goes on. Ah, the fear of that gym.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Letters to My Heart- Letter 1

Dear Heart,

I know, I know. I’m supposed to follow you because you know what’s best. But I thought mind had it right this time. I was truely convinced that it was the sure thing. But here we are back at square one. Now you’ve got a few bruises and wounds. Look at it this way, those will heal and then you’ll be stronger.  I must admit, your intuition ratings are far better than my mind’s. The thought process was to step out of my comfort zone and all of us would have been ok.

By the way, are you ok? I just thought I’d check and make sure. It is kind of my fault that you took such a beating. Next time, I’ll be sure to put you first and follow your lead. Maybe then, we won’t be so hurt and can open up to others. Hope you open up soon!

Yours Truely,

N_My_Write_Mind

The Truth Does Hurt. It’s Not So Easy to Digest.

You ever have that one friend that tells you not to do something but you do it anyway? Or they tell you to do something and you don’t do it. I’m just one of those people that have to see, learn and experience things for myself. Sure, I take people’s advice but in the end, it’s up to me to make the final decision.

It seems as though lately, people have been telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. But what do I do? I do the exact opposite. Although they may not be right, I can sure depend on an their advise/opinion on experiences that they’ve already been through.

I feel guilty for some of a few decisions I have made. In the end, my decisions have hurt me and others around me. Some decisions have also hurt other people but it has made me a better person. One time, I made a decision to “become friends” with a guy after my best friend told me not to. Lets just say my feelings were hurt by him and we are no longer “friends”. This was all after my friend told me it wasn’t a good idea.

How about the time, I thought I could manage my checkbook in my head. Yeah, I thought I was a human calculator and budget sheet. My mom told me to make sure I wrote all of my card and check transactions in my checkbook. Well, I thought I did a great job at maintaining a visual in my heard. I overdraft my account by about $60, plus the overdraft fees. If I had just taken the time to write everything down.

All of these are decisions whether minor or major. Decisions come with either benefits or repercussions. But even if there’s a penalty for making the wrong decision, I’ve still leaned from the outcome of truth. Now, while I can not change things that happen from the past, I can surely learn from them. The truth hurts. It’s always the hardest pill to swallow and it’s not hard to digest. But once I get that dose of truth I will be quite alright until the it’s time to swallow the next truth pill.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Worn Out My Welcome

As I sought to find other opportunities that would help me grow professionally, I reviewed my current position. I’m always eager to learn something new and I hate staying in one place at a time. I guess you could probably say that I get bored easily… Just as I love to learn new things, I’m a quick learner. But if you didn’t give me a chance or you don’t know me, how would you know that?

But my problem is with the ones that do know. If I’ve mentioned that I’m bored or that I need something else to do. But that response has been ignored. To my knowledge, I presented what I’m capable of, what my weaknesses are and how I’ve overcome those weaknesses. I’m at a crossroad. I feel like I’m not able to contribute to the cause being held back from growing.

Call it paranoia if you want. But I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. I’m being watched closely and any minor mistake could send me out with a pink slip and revoked badge.

You know it’s time to move on from a company’s when your growth has come to a complete stop. There’s no where for you to go besides tired and worn out. So what does one do once they feel like they’ve run out their welcome at a company?

Seek employment at a company that cares and you matter.

~ Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Alone on your bday

So I’ve come to that part of the year again. Yeah. My birthday. Every year I get this eagerness to do something new and fun. But every year, I end up doing anything but extraordinary.

I’m too old to go out. Yet, too young to not do anything at all. I will admit that my parents threw me an awesome party last year. But you can’t expect to have an awesome party every year.

I wanted to go on a cruise but no one could take off work. I wanted to take a weekend trip but no one had money. Even said let’s go to an amusement park. No one was really fond of that idea either.

It doesn’t help either when  your boyfriend isn’t romantic and  doesn’t think birthdays or holidays aren’t that important. Welcome to my world. I feel like you should have some type of enthusiasm about birthdays and holidays no matter whose birthday or what holiday it is.

I think what I’m really bothered at is that I get super excited about other people’s birthdays but I don’t get the same response. Even other holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving I get exited about because that’s family time. However, people around me don’t think its that big of a deal.

So here I am 2 weeks away from my birthday and still no plans. I think this year, I’ll bring down my enthusiasm level and just have a nice quiet dinner with a book. Hey, I may even have a nice glass of wine by myself.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

You’re Cute To Be a Big Girl

I posted on Twitter a comment someone made to me the other day. “You are cute to be a big girl”. Now wait a minute. What exactly does that mean? Because I’m a big girl, am I supposed to be ugly? People are so stuck on outside appearances. Even if I was ugly and big at the same time or skinny and pretty, Im still judged by outside appearance rather than me, what I’ve done and how I’ve done it.

Let me clear something up, I’m not upset about someone judging me by my weight. People do it all the time. I’m just bothered by someone implying that I’m not supposed to be attractive because I’m big. I’m well aware that some people prefer and are attracted to smaller, fit women. That’s something I can’t help. But what I can help is that I can do just as much as anyone half my size.

I get that people have preferences. People like skinny, fat, tall, short, light dark, long hair, short hair, etc. I get it. I have my own preferences of the type of men I like. However, I don’t go around saying he’s nice looking to have such dark skin or his height makes him attractive.

No matter what my weight is, I’ll always be confident in who I am and what I stand for. I’m still me no matter if I weighed 300 pounds or 125 pounds. The pounds don’t make me or make up who I am as a person.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Fear of Letting Go

Reading an article about hoarders, I thought about how people are afraid to let go of somethings. It can be as simple as a photo, a letter or even a toy.  I question why people are afraid of letting go of people however. Confusion and inquisitiveness reigns my mind when it comes to letting people go. Maybe it’s a fear of being alone or lonely. But why hold on when you know someone is not good, compatible or a right fit for you? Why say or listen to things that continue to to remain hurtful?

It’s like they have a hold on you and because they won’t let you. But you won’t either. I’ve been guilty of this too so it’s not like I’m talking about anyone specific. I’ve heard stories of people saying their mate told them they were selfish. Or their mate has told them that everything they do they hate. My question is why? Why stay with someone if that were true?

I understand that sometimes we as humans say things that we don’t mean from time to time. However, when we reach a point when we continue to speak unhealthy and hurtful comments, it only hinders us in the future. I suspect, we may hold on due to fear of what lies a head for the future. We are afraid to wait for what we deserve which is the exact opposite.

A few years ago I had someone call me a psycho and a b*tch in the same sentence. After I said I apologize that he felt that way about me. I also said since he felt that way, he probably shouldn’t call or text me any more. What did he do? He continued to call. Left numerous voicemails and my inbox was full of text messages from him. He also showed up at my house unannounced a few times.  In my mind, I’m thinking if I’m such a psycho and b*itch, why would you continue to call me? I’m still baffled by his actions.

However, with situations like this we have to learn how cope with other people and their faults. Although he thought I was crazy, it was actually him who turned out to be a little off his rocker. I recognized that some of his actions and then calling me out my name was unhealthy. So I decided to leave him alone. But it was him who was afraid to let go.

Its not about giving up on someone. It’s about letting go of someone or something so that doors and windows can open for you to gain what is really meant for you to have.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?