Something has been heavy on my heart lately. I’ve prayed about it and now I’m writing about it. After this, I’m leaving it alone. People always talk about how I’m mean and I always tell the truth no matter what. All while I may do this, my feelings are easily hurt.I was recently crushed by a so called friend. Well, I’ve now discovered they were never a friend.
Believe it or not, but someone will always show you their true colors sooner or later. I take friendship serious. Just for that reason, I don’t let too many people in my circle. True friends are hard to come by. However, when you get burned by someone, it’s certainly a lesson learned. Allow me to tell my story of a friendship gone wrong:
My “friend” was in a bind. They were left without a transportation to and from school. Because I had to be at work at 8 and they didn’t have to be in class until 9, I was willing to let them use my car. The plan: Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they were to drop me off at work and pick me up from work. Because I’m a friend, I never asked for anything in return. That’s just not how friendship works.
I never thought this was a big deal. Of course, I believed I was only doing what most friends should do. I didn’t question it at the time, but was I the only individual available to help this person? That seemed weird. Where are all the rest of his friends?
Long story short, this lasted longer than expected. Not once did I believe it was going to last this long. As this routine continued, I was starting to feel like it was way more than a traditional friendship. I was feeling some kinda way. How could I have feelings for someone that I knew was just my friend? I knew he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Especially not with me.
One night, I realized this was not a good feeling. The next morning, I picked him up early. The conversation started with:We need to talk. I told him that we were spending too much time together, I was starting to like him, etc. Everything I said that morning was merely all of the emotions I was feeling.
I wasn’t expecting him to say anything other than he understood. I felt like I ended something that could have been a disaster if it continued. Of course, I felt bad because I knew he would be without transportation. However, I had to consider what was most important (my feelings).
Think we were “friends” after that? Not at all. We didn’t speak for for a long time after that conversation. I just so happen to see him after a few weeks. He gave me a simple poke and kept walking. I couldn’t even get a simple Hi; How are you?; How have you been?………Nothing.
Well this piss me off even more. I let this person use my car for months. You would think a friendship would not be based on me letting someone use my car. That’s a weird friendship if you ask me. I tell someone that they can’t use my car and they stop talking to me.
After he pissed me off by poking me, I told him to call me. I asked if he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. His response: Naw, it’s not like that. You know how I get…… Ummm, no. Clearly I don’t know how you get.
Later he tweets something like …. If I don’t make an effort to contact you, that means I’m not interested anymore. Those weren’t the exact words but something of that sort. In his defense, he could have been talking about someone else. He could even been sub tweeting me. Either way, I felt those words fit the situation. Some kinda friend, eh?
Even after weeks later, still no contact. So, now I realize that we were never truely friends. I believed I was friend to him but I didn’t get that in return.
Although I am openly writing about my feelings, I am hurt. To me it seems like a so called friendship was based on him using my car. A relationship that I sincerely valued is now over. However, I will assume that this was never a friendship from the beginning.
1. Never let anyone borrow your car.
2. No more individuals are allowed the title of “Friend”. I have plenty and I don’t need anymore.
3. Never assume that people care as much as you do.
~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?