No Red Meat For Me, Please!

In order to help in my weight loss battle, I’ve decided slowly wean myself off of red meat. I thought this would be easy because I did it with pork. However, avoiding red meat seems to get harder with every meal. I live alone so it’s not hard to buy things to cook just for me. I don’t have to worry about other people’s taste buds. It makes perfect sense to buy things that are pleasing to my own taste buds.

With this decision to cut out red meat, I find it very tempting to try a meal that is purely red meat. I see commercials all the time where restaurants are introducing new products that are all red meats. Even the grocery stores will advertise red meats before they show chicken or fish. I find it even harder paying for my food. Most of the time, a hamburger cost a lot less than a fish or chicken sandwich.

No one really is sure how much commercials impact or influence people’s decisions to buy things. For me, I may see something and want to try it just because I saw a commercial. With that being said, I saw a commercial for a fast food restaurant and I saw a hamburger that looked so delicious. We all know the food on the commercials do not look  the same in person as it does on a commercial. However, we want to try it anyway. Or at least I do!

As I type this blog, a Wendy’s commercial comes on. I paused, stopped typing and watched the entire commercial. I hadn’t realized how much I was interested in viewing this new burger.  After the commercial went off, I shook my head at the commercial.

Oh how I would love to try it out. But I have to keep in mind the task at hand: No more red meat. To help me in my transition, I buy nothing but chicken, turkey and fish. If I don’t feel like cooking, I call my parents to see what they cooked. If it consists of red meat, I go home and settle for a fresh salad with turkey. By no means are these decisions the easiest. In fact, they get harder with every meal decision. But again, I have to remind myself of what the task is: No more red meat!

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?


I Aint Too Proud To Beg

One of the most important life lessons I’ve learned is simple. You can not accomplish everything in life on your own. Some things you simply just need a little help. Sure, I do agree with the quote, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” But to add to that, if the task is big enough sometimes you have to delegate duties to others to get the job done.

I have a project that I’ve been working on for a while. Ha! I say a while and it’s been a few years. This is because I’ve been extremely shy about showcasing my work. Part of this is because of a fear I have about other people’s opinions. I know, I know that doesn’t make sense especially since I have a blog where the entire world can view my opinion about certain issues. I do consider blogging a different channel of expression.

I finally worked up enough nerve to ask two friends to help me. This project is big enough that I had to roll it out in halves. For some reason, I felt the first half was complete enough for them to look over it. Not only was I asking for them to look over it and give me their opinion, I asked for editing suggestions, plus positive and negative criticism. I’m going all in.

After a while, I’ve realized that asking for help is not all that bad. The people that I asked, I trust them enough to help me so what was the big idea. The truth: I was scared to climb over the self built wall I had. Nothing will ever get done unless you make an effort. No effort, no accomplishment. Nothing is going to magically finish itself.

After fighting all these internal battles, I’ve had to give myself a pep talk. My own words of encouragement: Put your best foot forward and get it done. With that being said, I’m ready for the long road ahead to get this project done.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Friends No More!

Something has been heavy on my heart lately. I’ve prayed about it and now I’m writing about it. After this, I’m leaving it alone. People always talk about how I’m mean and I always tell the truth no matter what. All while I may do this, my feelings are easily hurt.I was recently crushed by a so called friend. Well, I’ve now discovered they were never a friend.

Believe it or not, but someone will always show you their true colors sooner or later. I take friendship serious. Just for that reason, I don’t let too many people in my circle. True friends are hard to come by.  However, when you get burned by someone, it’s certainly a lesson learned. Allow me to tell my story of a friendship gone wrong:

My “friend” was in a bind. They were left without a transportation to and from school. Because I had to be at work at 8 and they didn’t have to be in class until 9, I was willing to let them use my car. The plan: Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they were to drop me off at work and pick me up from work.  Because I’m a friend, I never asked for anything in return. That’s just not how friendship works.

I never thought this was a big deal. Of course, I believed I was only doing what most friends should do. I didn’t question it at the time, but was I the only individual available to help this person? That seemed weird. Where are all the rest of his friends?

Long story short, this lasted longer than expected. Not once did I believe it was going to last this long. As this routine continued, I was starting to feel like it was way more than a traditional friendship. I was feeling some kinda way. How could I have feelings for someone that I knew was just my friend? I knew he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Especially not with me.

One night, I realized this was not a good feeling. The next morning, I picked him up early. The conversation started with:We need to talk. I told him that we were spending too much time together, I was starting to like him, etc. Everything I said that morning was merely all of the emotions I was feeling.

I wasn’t expecting him to say anything other than he understood. I felt like I ended something that could have been a disaster if it continued. Of course, I felt bad because I knew he would be without transportation. However, I had to consider what was most important (my feelings).

Think we were “friends” after that? Not at all. We didn’t speak for for a long time after that conversation. I just so happen to see him after a few weeks. He gave me a simple poke and kept walking. I couldn’t even get a simple Hi; How are you?; How have you been?………Nothing.

Well this piss me off even more. I let this person use my car for months. You would think a friendship would not be based on me letting someone use my car. That’s a weird friendship if you ask me. I tell someone that they can’t use my car and they stop talking to me.

After he pissed me off by poking me, I told him to call me. I asked if he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. His response: Naw, it’s not like that. You know how I get…… Ummm, no. Clearly I don’t know how you get.

Later he tweets something like …. If I don’t make an effort to contact you, that means I’m not interested anymore. Those weren’t the exact words but something of that sort. In his defense, he could have been talking about someone else. He could even been sub tweeting me. Either way, I felt those words fit the situation. Some kinda friend, eh?

Even after weeks later, still no contact. So, now I realize that we were never truely friends. I believed I was friend to him but I didn’t get that in return.

Although I am openly writing about my feelings,  I am hurt. To me it seems like a so called friendship was based on him using my car. A relationship that I sincerely valued is now over. However, I will assume that this was never a friendship from the beginning.

Lessons Learned:

1. Never let anyone borrow your car.

2. No more individuals are allowed the title of “Friend”. I have plenty and I don’t need anymore.

3. Never assume that people care as much as you do.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Almost Made It. But Almost Doesn’t Count

I recently applied for supervisor position in my department. The interview/elimination process was log, drawn out and strenuous. I first had to apply for the position. Once I received the clearance from my application, I then received my next task.

There were five questions I had to answer, essay style. Each question was about one page each. I could have easily typed up questions and e-mailed them. That’s the quick way, right? Right. But I took it a step further. I printed it off. Created a cover sheet and placed them in a plastic cover as if I was turning in a report. Needless to say, the look on my manager’s face was priceless. He smiled, nodded his head and said he looked forward to reading my responses.

I guess I impressed them enough for an interview. After I received an invitation for an interview, I went to my boss and asked what it was I needed to prepare myself for the interview. As he explained what he was looking for, I took mental notes. I was trying to nail my interview.

The day of the interview was a hectic day (blog regarding this day coming soon). Long story short, I was not prepared. My heart was not beating, it was pounding. My nerves were bad but I had to go in as confident as possible. I walked in the interview confident. However, an hour and a half later  I walked out with sweaty palms, back and arm pitts.

Now that the interview was over, all I had to do was wait for an answer. The agony wasn’t over just yet. My desk is right by the conference room where they were conducting the interviews.  So I watched every other candidate walk in and walk out and I timed the interviews. “Oh dear. I’m starting to second guess myself,” I thought.

After the first week went by and I didn’t hear anything about the position, I left it alone. I gave it to God and said I’m not going to worry about it. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I wondered what kind of impression I made on my manager and director.

This morning, my manager called a meeting with just he and I. “Oh no, what could this possibly be about.” I went in closed the door and sat down.

He then said:
“I had no idea how much of leader you were. Over and over, you keep impressing me. I was testing you by giving you projects to do and you nailed them. I really can’t find anything bad to say. You impressed Dana and I. Your essay was on point, you interview was great and all I can say is that you continue to impress me. I say that to say that I chose another candidate but I chose them simply because they had way more experience than you. I just wanted to tell you that this isn’t the end. You would be the first person whose name will come up for another position.”

Through all of this, I continued to smile. There was sort of bittersweet moment I was feeling. Although I wasn’t chosen for the position, it’s good to know I was one of two candidates. The race started out with twelve people. It may only be second place but I beat 10 other people to get there.

Maybe there is something better or more fitting for me in the near future. So instead of being sad that I didn’t get the position, I’m happy. I’m happy because I now know that I have his attention. I’m ready and willing to grow professionally. It may take a while but I’ll get there.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

You are appreciated

I just wanted to take some time out to say thank you. Thank you to those who support me. You all encourage me. There are so many things I want to say, I just have to find the right way and time to say them.

Even though my “fans” may not be large in numbers, I still have hope. It definitely puts a smile on my face when someone says that my words encourage them or that they simply enjoy reading my words.

This is my passion and yes, I’ve neglected it from time to time. But you all give me that small push I need to start again. I know it’s cliche but its better late than never.

So many people tell me to blog about this and that or ask why I haven’t blogged. I was battling some internal issues where I didn’t want to blog or refused to write down my thoughts for fear of other’s opinions.

Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I’ve come to embrace these opinions whether you agree or disagree with what I write.  Again, thank you. I am truely inspired by my supporters/readers.

Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Outsourcing is Inconsiderate

So I work in a call center. Health insurance. With the economy in the state that it’s in, health care providers are constantly finding way to save money. This includes hiring overseas billing companies to handle their billing and coding. I’m all for saving money.

But I must say, that I am extremely annoyed when I get a call from a foreigner. You can say I’m mean, irrational and even . However, it is a complete waste of time to hire someone that works off a standard call script that can not be altered to cater to the the various types of calls.

Besides, 99.9% I end up repeating myself at least 3 times. They even tend to put words in your mouth and ask you to repeat what they said. I know you just said “What?!” Yeah, I find myself saying that at least 6 times during one call. Of course I can’t say “what” that’s rude. Instead I use, “Excuse me.” I’m bothered at this point because they don’t understand me and I don’t understand them!

I’ll keep this blog short as this was just a small complaint session regarding cheap medical providers. Yeah, the one’s who are only concerned with saving money. They aren’t looking at the entire picture. Time is money and these calls are a complete WASTE OF TIME!

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

Choosing the Right Actions

Kudos to my best friend. She gives me a lot of inspiration and the push I need. I recently went to her for some advise. This issue I was having was weighing heavy on my heart. I even confessed that I felt so bad for what I was about to do.

Her response, “The right things to do are usually the hardest.” She was absolutely right. It’s so easy to choose all the wrong things. It’s so much easier to choose candy over fruit or push the elevator door rather than holding it for someone who’s a few feet away.

I think tis has a lot to do with my patience also. I get so anxious and I do what is right for the moment. What I think is right for the moment, may not be the best decision for the future. Someone once told me that a handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.

I get so caught up on making other people happy that my own vision gets cloudy and decisions become irrational. I’ve been told that because I genuinely am a good friend, I tend to do for people who aren’t appreciative. With that being said, me trying to be a good friend, back fired.

I’m still learning to be conscious of what I say and what I do. Although this is an extremely hard process, I find it relieving. So as my decisions become harder in life, I think about what’s right over what’s wrong.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

I Put Aside What I Love the Most

My best friend asked why I hadn’t blogged in a while. “Good question 😦 ” I responded. This one is a two part answer to this question. I first have a fear of not writing to the standards of everyone’s liking (blog about this coming soon). Secondly, I just get sidetracked.

The truth is, I get so caught up in trying to discover my next hustle. Just for a moment, deep inside I believe if my tithes are paid, my bills are caught up and I have a job, then I have no worries. When in fact, I worry more. Sure these positive gestures issue a small window of bliss. However, that comfort only lasts until due dates come back around.

Then I begin to ponder. What is it that actually makes me happy? Is it my lifetime dream or a right now hustle? There is a difference in pursuing something you love and pursuing something for the money. Writing gives me the comfort of warmth. But where did that warmth go? If I’m working on my happiness and what makes me happy then nothing else matters. Right?…..

Well, you all know how I feel about excuses. This is certainly not an excuse. As a matter of fact, this is a confession.  Missing in action on this blog is entirely my fault. I get side tracked, busy and consumed with the daily tests of life. You would think this would pressure me more to write and share more but it doesn’t.

The same goes for my relationship with God. Too many times I’ve caught myself, putting any thing and anyone before God. What harm will it do to take a few minutes out of my day to acknowledge God? Prayer and meditation are essential. Instead, I’m too occupied with my job, family, money and….you guessed it, twitter!

The truth: there are two things that make me happy in life: my relationship with God and writing.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?