Where’s the Commitment?

So a group of friends decided to ask the question: When is it ok to move in with each other? The options were after 6 months, 1 year, 2 years or after engaged or married. At first I hesitated on engaging in the conversation. My friends know how strongly I feel about this. Sure everyone has their own opinions and will do what they believe is right. Me on the other hand, I don’t think this should even be a question. Let me explain.

The idea of moving together first brings convenience. Your bills are now split between two incomes and you have a potential to save more money. This is true, but think about water consumption for two, cooking for two and last but not least, answering to someone who isn’t your spouse or parent. I’m just not ready to commit to all of these things if there is not commitment between us to do it for the rest of our lives.

Moving in secondly brings in-house sex. Yeah, I know. Some of you are saying this could be the most positive idea ever. Though it could be, think about the commitment aspect. Just because we live together does not mean you are faithful or committed. 

Lastly, moving in brings comfort.  Living together, you are definitely spending more time together. But is it too much time when you are just dating? Dating is about getting to know each other and having fun, right? I’m a big fan of spontaneity. I really think that’s lost when we move in together and aren’t married.

I guess my most important concept here is commitment. Someone actually said, there is no time frame to decide to move in. Just when you feel it’s right. I have to disagree with that statement. The only right time is when you have decided to spend the rest of your life with this person. The next question I would have is: I’m good enough to live with but not good enough to marry? That makes sense…. In my sarcastic voice. Moving in together does not define commitment in any way.

I don’t know about you, but I hate packing, moving and unpacking. Just think if you move in with most of the people you date.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

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