Options or Priorities

We all know that famous quote, “Don’t make someone a priority when you are only an option”. Debate has reigned over this quote. Some individuals agree, some oppose. I’m in total agreeance of this statement.

 

The conversation of relationships has been been buzzing. I think the source of this buzz is because it’s summer time. We all know that summer is the season for break-ups, bafoonary, shenanigans and mess.

 

Throughout this conversation, the question of the real definition of relationships, kicking it and dating have sparked various reactions. The real question is “What is our status and what does it mean?”  My question from all of this was, “If you are dating then is it wrong to date numerous people at one time?” Most people responded that it’s ok to date multiple people unless the two of you decide to be exclusive.

 

This threw me for a loop. Doesn’t this mean you are in a relationship if you decide to be exclusive? The majority of the responses: not necessarily. At this point I was thoroughly confused. To me this is saying, “We are together but we have an open relationship. I also interpreted this as “We are each other’s option. However, definitely not a priority to one another.”

I’m not a big fan of being someone’s “option”. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I don’t feel comfortable being just an option. I feel I should be a priority. Especially if you and me (we) are putting in an equal amount of effort.

It’s honestly too time consuming to juggle too many relationships at one time. This goes for opposite sex companionship and friendships. Trust me, I’ve tried. Dating multiple people at one time is a time management skill that I just do not possess. Sooner or later I became extremely exhausted trying to keep up.

In addition, options lead to indecisiveness. Indecisiveness leads to procrastination. If you have options, you will will never decide what you want or who you want. The decision becomes too complicated. It’s like looking at a menu. It all may look good or sound good. You may have so many items to choose from but in the end you have to choose that one main entre’.

This may be the selfish Leo in me. However, I only want to put my time, effort and attention into one person. In return, I want to be their priority and not one of their options.

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Morning Cellular Discombobulation

This morning was one of those mornings when I took my time getting dressed. In between my routine, I watched the news, ate some fruit and even checked my twitter page. In the mist of preparing to leave out I rushed out of the house as I noticed I was running ten minutes behind.

I proceed grab my bags, jump in the car and carry on to work. Glancing at the clock on my dash, I  was pinching for time. I needed to blaze through traffic in order to get to work on time. I reached in my purse to feel for my phone. Those good morning texts and calls were awaiting response. My heart pounded hard as I was feeling round, trying to also pay attention to the rode.

“Damn it! Where is my phone?” I yelled to myself.

Luckily, a red light was ahead. A massive search in my purse for my phone was unsuccessful. I impatiently waited for the light to turn green. The phone must be sitting on the dresser. If I went one day without my cell phone, I would be discombobulated. My cell phone keeps me sane. It’s a necessity to carry it with me no matter what my destination.

Of course I turned back around and rushed back into the house to get my cell phone. Searching for the phone, my heart began to pound a little harder. It wasn’t on the dresser. I started to panic. Where could my phone be? It wasn’t on the dresser, on the floor, under the bed or even on top of the bed. I frantically ripped the comforter off the bed. I had unknowingly threw the phone on the floor with the comforter. Ahhhhh… A sense of relief. I found my phone and I was ready to continue my day.

I was willing to risk going to work late all because I needed… no wanted my cell phone. How could I ever make it through the day without text messaging, twitter, occasional facebooking, and just recently added to the list… words with friends? It was then I came to the conclusion that I am addicted to my phone. Without it in my life, my entire world is discombobulated.

~Am I N-My-Write-Mind?

Approved Attitude

There’s been this chip on my shoulder. Believing that every situation was always someone else’s problem or fault was a major misconception. Instead of examining my own faults, I tried to discover everyone else’s imperfections. Along with these discoveries, not once did I recognize that my little “experiment” was revealing the real me. I was exposing who I was a person. I wouldn’t go too far as saying I was judgmental that’s too harsh…. Maybe the best word to use here would be unreasonable.

After my self analysis, I realized my bad attitude tended to be a mere reaction to other’s attitude. Instead of being proactive, my reaction was dependent on another individual’s outlook (positive or negative).  My unwillingness to be reasonable resulted in me concluding that I was always right….

Well you guessed it. I was more wrong then right. But the chip on my shoulder aided me to think otherwise. It wasn’t until I had a random conversation about my attitude, when I realized it’s not ever acceptable to have an bad attitude because of a bad situation. My goal in life is to play the cards that life dealt me and play them strategically so that I win. This attitude I had toward certain people and situations were hindering and blocking blessings.

Needless to say, a positive attitude is always approved.

~Am I N-My-Write-Mind?

Necessity for Nuptials and Pressure for Pregnancy

I was standing in my mom’s bathroom brushing my hair when she comes in and hovers over me.

“Ma, why are you being so weird?”

“I’m not being weird.I’m just watching you brush your hair. You are so pretty.”

“Uh, thanks ma.” I replied then a blank stare followed.

“I’m just trying to find out why you don’t have a boyfriend. I mean you’re smart, no kids and really cute.

“Ummm, I don’t know mom. But I really don’t feel like talking about this right now.”

“Well, your dad and I are ready for someone to get married and have kids because we wouldn’t mind having grandchildren. All of these weddings you are in and going to this summer. Doesn’t that make you want the same thing?”

She went on and on about how I’m the oldest so I should be the first to get married and have kids. A part of me wanted to explain to my mom how things work in the real world. However, I would have wasted my entire morning trying to explain how I could have been married and had kids.

These comments tend to bother me and hurt my feelings. There were also occasions when I’ve done  a self evaluation because I believed I was the reason why I was still single. However, reality is I am SINGLE. I do not have any kids and the way things are going, I don’t think that is in my near future.

This pressure from friends, my parents (especially my mom) and myself gets overwhelming at times. Sure, I want to get married and have kids. The fact is, those are two things I would love to have. It just hasn’t happened. Until then, this need for nuptials and pressure for pregnancy will just be one of those petpeeves that make me cringe every time the subject arises.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?

A Messy Home Means a Messy Life

At the beginning of the year I decided to do some cleaning. Not just house cleaning but life cleaning. I got rid of a few people, finalized some unfinished business and determined solutions for a few problems. However, no matter how hard we may try to keep our lives in order, there is always one or more people who prefer to address you with drama.

Let’s face it. We all have at least one of these people in our lives. I recently had some encounters with some individuals with this type of personality. While all the madness was occurring, I did not realize that I was being sucked into the realm of mess. It wasn’t until after I noticed that some of this “mess”could ruin an extremely good friendship, that I analyzed a part of me that still needed to be worked on.

“Easily influenced” was used to describe my behavior. Wait. Did they just say easily influenced? Yes. This was an eye opener as I am normally very opinionated and independent. I usually ride “solo dolo” as you will. Never before had I let someone else drama guide me or persuade me. However, these few people had a tight grip on me and they were slowly but surely taking me down with them. Where was this coming from? Yep. You guessed it. Their so called “dramatic experience” was turning into my drama and everyone else’s drama also.

Individuals that lead dramatic lives often have too little or too much drama in their own lives. They pretend that they are happy, they have no problems and their lives are perfect.  These same individuals know how to investigate other people’s lives and turn their problems into drama. Let’s be real. Everyone has problems. Some just have more than others.

With that being said, there is really nothing I can do with other people’s lives being messy. The only solution I have is to try and keep my house clean and in order. The control I have of what goes on in my house it solely dependent on me, myself and I. External factors such as negative, unhappy, jealous and nosey people are not allowed to come into my clean house and turn it into a mess.

~Am I N_My_Write_Mind?